The Grrrammar Guide to Articles Part 3: The Brain is like a Computer

[This is Part 3. It'll make more sense if you read Part 1 and Part 2 first]

In part 2, I suggested that articles are signalling devices, a bit like indicators on a car. But what exactly are they signalling?

To explain, I’ll use a different image: a computer.

As a writer, I spend a lot of time working with MS Word. So whenever I start work in the morning, I have two fundamental options: I can either Open an existing document, in order to make some changes or add new text, or I can create a New document in order to start from scratch. Two options: Open and New.

1 and /.

Now, let’s think of your brain as something a little like a computer. As we go through life, we are constantly adding knowledge and experiences to our own memory banks. I have no idea how the brain works, but wouldn’t it be logical if it used the same two-way choice: open an existing file in memory in order to change it, or create a new memory file.

Image by nico.cavallotto

So let’s say you’ve got one file in your memory for every person you’ve ever met. You create a new file every time you meet someone for the first time, and open that file every time you meet that person again or learn some new information about them.

Of course, sometimes we get it wrong, and lose track of who we’ve met before. Some of the most embarrassing situations involve forgetting somebody that we should remember:

A: Oh, hello, my name’s Jeremy. Nice to meet you. 

B: Er … I sat next to you in yesterday’s meeting. Don’t you remember?

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone wore a badge, saying either ‘You know me’ or ‘I’m new’?

To come back to computers, in my job as an editor, I receive dozens of MS Word files via email from writers. For example, the author of one of the books I’m editing has sent me the first draft of unit 5. Another author has re-drafted a unit, based on my criticisms and recommendations of their first draft.

But because I receive so many files, I often lose track of what’s a first draft and what’s a later draft. For this reason, I ask authors to include markers in their file names: D1 for a first draft, D2 for a second draft, and so on. So I know immediately what to do with each document when it arrives.

Where is all this going? Well, one of the key functions of language – any language, not just English – is to pass information from one person’s brain to another person’s brain. During a conversation, that other person receives thousands of pieces of information, all of which needs to be processed in her brain-computer. Some of the information requires her to create a new file; some requires her to open an existing file and make changes to it.

And, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, this is where articles come in. The basic meaning of ‘the’ is ‘Open an existing file in your memory’. The basic meaning of a/an and Ø is ‘Create a new file’ or ‘Add new information’.

A / an / Ø =/.

The = 1.

Articles are the badges that say ‘You know me’ and ‘I’m new’. They’re the markers in file names equivalent to my D1 and D2 markers. They are what allows us to process huge amounts of information quickly so we know what to do with it. They are important!

Of course it all gets much more complicated when you look into the details, but that’s not a good place to start … and to finish part 3.